


How I Met My Soul Mate - A Drunken Kurt Story

by spaceorphan



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drunken Shenanigans, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 04:54:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15878964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spaceorphan/pseuds/spaceorphan
Summary: Over drinks one night, Kurt tells Elliott the story of how he met his soul mate.  Soul Mate AU! Also - Kitties! Superheroes! Drunken Shenanigans! Sappy love stories!





	How I Met My Soul Mate - A Drunken Kurt Story

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BunniesAndBooks](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BunniesAndBooks/gifts).



> Written for the 2018 Klaine Exchange 
> 
> Thanks Snarkyhag for beta'ing - I know it was an epic battle of dashes and commas <3 
> 
> Smooshed together two prompts: Soulmate!AU where your true love’s first words are tattooed on your body. The words written on Kurt/Blaine is utterly ridiculous and ‘holy shit is this real?!’ and Kurt/Blaine volunteers at the animal shelter. The other comes in to adopt an animal. Think of the cuteness!. 
> 
> Then I dumped a ton of glitter on it, doused it in alcohol, then lit the whole thing on fire. 
> 
> It's better than Thor 2. Maybe.

Kurt’s at the bar, swaying gently to the live band playing questionable-at-best music while fiddling with his phone.  He keeps staring at the text message - _running late, be there soon_ \- it says.  He’ll come, Kurt assures himself as he sips the brightly colored drink he had ordered.  The bar is a little too warm and little too loud but it’s not like they have to stay there all night, they could go other places… if he comes.  When. When he comes. He’ll be here.

He’s anxious at first. There haven’t been that many dates and it’s been… Kurt can’t describe it.  Wonderful, amazing, scary, cliche - adjectives writers of rom-coms use in their mediocre and unrealistic but completely addicting films.  He shouldn’t get too worked up about any of this. He can’t - because things never go quite his way, do they.

He flips through his phone more and goes to his photos where there’s a selfie of the two of them.  God, he found a handsome one. So fucking handsome. He sips his drink, sweet and tart, and maybe it’s the alcohol, maybe not, but his anxiousness begins to slide into giddiness.  He giggles into his drink, finishes it, and continues to stare at the photo. Kurt thinks they make quite the lovely couple, thank-you-very-much.

Elliott slides onto the stool next to him, because Elliott is of course there every night, even if he had been away at a yoga retreat for a while.  He peers over Kurt’s shoulder, “Cute.”

“Find your own,” Kurt jokingly snaps, holding his phone close to his chest.  The picture is for him, not for Elliott. “I’m keeping this one.”

Elliott laughs easily into his beer.  “So, you must really like him?”

“This one has eyes you can get lost in,” Kurt says, breaking down into giggles.  Did he just say that out loud? He just had the one drink, right? He glances back at his phone, at the beautiful guy he’s found and remembers… sweet kisses and soft hands and breath on his cheek and…  Elliott is sitting far too close and invading his thoughts. It’s getting way too hot in here, and he’s going to need another drink. “Don’t you have a set to play tonight?” he asks as he waves down the bartender.  Yes another, he’ll worry about his tab tomorrow.

“Not playing tonight,” Elliott says.  “I’m just here to listen to these lovely ladies play.  What’s his name?”

“These ladies need voice lessons, honestly,” Kurt says, intentionally ignoring Elliott’s question. Kurt stares hard at the bartender in hopes of getting his drink quickly.  The anxiousness is coming back. “What kind of music is this? It sounds like a mix between grunge and Rogers and Hammerstein.”

“You can get lost in his eyes and yet you’re not telling me his name?”  

“I’m going to have to talk to the owner about who they let play because this is just insulting to Broadway.”

“He’s another musician isn’t he?”

“And to grunge.  You know, grunge is an underappreciated art form?” The bartender sets his drink in front of him “Ooh, look an umbrella this time.”

Elliott raises an eyebrow.  “You’re being secretive and deflecting.  You haven’t been this way since--”

Kurt eyes him hard.  “I told you, if you brought that up again, I would be picking your next tattoo, and you know that  won’t end well for you.”

Kurt’s a gossip most of the time.  He’s usually pretty forward about what he likes and what he doesn’t.  But when it comes to matters of the heart, he’s a bit more closed off.  He looks back to the photo on his phone and something in his chest stirs.  Whatever this thing is, it’s precious to him. He’s been burned before, hurt before, and he’s not sure if he could bare it if something bad happened this time.  

There’s a break in the music, distracting him from his thoughts.  Two of the women in the band announce to the crowd that they’ve just gotten engaged, and what’s more, that they’ve found out that they’re soulmates, not hesitating to show a cooing crowd the soul markers on their wrists. 

Kurt used to find these things romantic. He remembers fondly the amount of time he spent as a child watching Youtube videos of people telling stories about how they met their soulmates. He waited anxiously for his own soul marker.  But now he can only grimace. He’d rather not think about soulmates at all if he can help it.

“What’s that look for?” Elliot asks, noticing Kurt’s sour expression.  “This is special, and I know you have a heart buried in there.”

Kurt waves him away.  “Soulmates are dumb.”

“Are they?”

“Do you know how many people are on the planet?” Kurt asks.  “Seven billion. Seven billion people - do you know how many that is? A lot.  And do you know what the chances are of actually meeting your soulmate? Slim because the universe doesn’t actually like letting people be happy.  How many people go to their graves and never meet that one person? So, why even bother?”

“I agree,” Elliott says, much to Kurt’s surprise.  “I don’t think we should.”

“Huh?”

Elliott laughs, as he rolls up his sleeve, revealing his heavily tattooed bicep.  There’s a mess of twisting, spiny lines there, but he can still make out curves of the Ancient Language.  It may be a dead language, like Latin, but everyone on the planet can read it, because everyone on the planet has a marking somewhere on their body that has their soul marker written on it.  A phrase unique just to them - that your soulmate will one day say to you - that is, if you ever cross their path in the first place. Elliott’s, however, is not readable due to the tattoo covering the letters.  

“What’s it say?” Kurt asks, more curious than he pretends not to be.  

“I honestly don’t know,” Elliott admits.  “Got this the day it appeared. Too many people let it dictate their lives.  I wasn’t going to let it dictate mine.”

“How admirable,” Kurt mumbles sarcastically.  

Kurt’s envious.  He knows exactly what his says because he was never given a choice to know or not know.  Elliott’s looking a little smug in his profoundness, so Kurt finishes off his drink and begins to unbutton his shirt.  

“Do you know why I never take my shirt off?” Kurt asks.  “Why I wear a two piece bathing suit, and even in the summer still wear at least a t-shirt?”

Elliott’s intrigued as Kurt bares his shoulder.  This is something he rarely does, but he wants to show Elliott why the whole soulmate thing is hard for him.  

Elliott leans back to read the writing and bites his lip trying hard not to laugh.  He doesn’t blame Elliott. Every time he shows someone, he gets that reaction. It’s standard.  He’s used to it. But it’s become easier not to talk about it. He’s not the only person on the planet to have something permanently ridiculous written on him. Doesn’t make it any easier.

“Oh man, Kurt, I didn’t know,” Elliott says, as Kurt quickly pulls the shirt back over his shoulder before anyone else can read it.  “But I don’t get it. You’re clearly mooning over this new guy, but the soulmate thing has you hot and bothered?”

Drink three arrives in front of him, the bartender seeming privy to his needs.  He should probably stop, but the alcohol is working its magic and maybe it wouldn’t hurt to tell someone.  Elliott’s not prying, he never does, and that’s one reason they’re friends, so maybe Elliott can know the whole story.  

“You know how most people get their markers when they’re in their teens?” Kurt says.  

Elliott nods along.  “Yeah.”

“Well, I was twenty,” Kurt says.  He hates this memory. He wishes it could be eradicated from his brain.  Even the alcohol can’t do that. “And it had the pleasure of arriving while I was… I, um.  We were, uh... During relations.”

“Oh god.”  

“Adam and I were having sex and then he stopped, in the middle, to read it out loud to me,” Kurt says quickly.  “And then he laughed. Because, you know, it says _that._ And then it never stopped being a joke to him.  And he wasn’t even my actual soulmate.”

“Well, your soulmate will say it authentically.  It can’t be just anyone who says it. And then you only know when it fades and…”

“Yes, I know how it works.”  

“Kurt…” Elliott tilts his head, and pats Kurt’s shoulder affectionately.  “So, what then? You guys don’t work out. That happens.”

“Yeah, but I thought,” Ug, his stomach turns just thinking about it.  “I thought, he might have been the one. I was dumb. No, he was the dumb one.  Just a stupid blond stupid head who never stopped laughing at me until the day he dumped me.”

“Well, I did know him, remember? And he definitely wasn’t the one.”  

Kurt plays with his drink a little.  “Well, I know that now. But I feel the same way with this new guy.  Blaine. His name is Blaine.” His heart begins to swell again just thinking about him.  Kurt places his phone on the counter, so that Elliott can see - can really get a look at this guy who just makes him feel all the things.  “Isn’t that a wonderfully classy name. Blaaaine. You can sing it.”

“Oh, my…”

Kurt drinks more and stares at Blaine.  He can’t stop these feelings, even if he tried, he’s too far gone, and he knows that.  “I think I feel more now than I did with Adam. And, what if this doesn’t work out? What if he’s not my soulmate? What if this is all a waste of time?  I mean, I’ve only known him six months but…”

“Hold up,” Elliott says suddenly.  “Six months. You’ve kept this guy a secret for six months?!?”

“Um, yes.” Kurt stumbles out.

“Okay, you better start from the beginning then.”  

 The beginning.  Okay then…

“Well, originally, there was the Big Bang…”

“Kurt!”

“Fine.”  Kurt lets out a huff, and settles in his seat.  “Fine, fine. Fine.” His mind flutters to Blaine.  He wishes Blaine was not running late for whatever unknown reason.  He misses Blaine already, and he wants to touch him again, wants to hold him again. Just wants…  But Blaine’s not here. Just Elliott - waiting for the story. “Fine. It started at Comic-Con.”

“Comic-Con?  Really?” Elliott’s eyebrows rise in unexpected interest.  “Why were you at - oh dude, were you there looking for Thor?”

“No,” Kurt says, eyes narrowing.  

“I mean I just figured because-”

“I was there, because I was there,” Kurt snaps.  “And because _I_ dressed up as Thor.”

Elliott nearly chokes on his beer.  

“It was something I was trying,” Kurt says.  He has no shame. “And besides, Rachel insisted she dress up as Jane Foster.”

“Isn’t she blonde in the comics?”

“It was a movie interpretation… and not the point!”  

“Please tell me you took photos,” Elliott says.  He makes a grab for Kurt’s phone, but Kurt’s with it enough to snatch it away before Elliott can see and puts the phone in his pocket.  

“Nope,” Kurt says, wiggling his finger.  “I may be tipsy now, but I will not let you take advantage of me, Elliott Gilbert.  I was a brilliant Thor. I spiced it up a little - I bedazzled the cape.”

Elliott snickered.  “Of course you did. And I assume you had a wig?”  

Kurt nods, sure of himself.  “So, Rachel and I were walking around, there were, like, a million people there - do you know how many Thors alone there were?  Like, a hundred easily, and no one had a bedazzled cape.”

“Oh!” Elliott says suddenly.  “Is this where you met your guy?  Please tell me he dressed up as Loki!”  

“Do you want to tell the story?”

“Sorry.”  

“And, gross, no, Loki is Thor’s brother.”

“Adopted brother.”  

Kurt shoots him a dark look.  “Not the point. The point is… where was I? Oh, Rachel.  Rachel and I weren’t really sure what to do there. I mean, it turns out that Comic-Con isn’t that interesting if you don’t read comics or play those weird board games or anything like that.  Where was the tent for Broadway singers? Or at least a place for the drag queens, I mean really.”

“Anyway…”

“Anyway… we aren’t there a half hour when Rachel meets another Thor.”  

“Blasphemy!”  

“Yes, really.  Because he claims he won second place in a Chris Hemsworth look-a-like contest.  And really, I didn’t see it. Maybe fifth or sixth place. He looked more like Fabio. A ridiculous, non-bedazzeled-caped Fabio Thor.  The muscles were a little too ridiculous if you ask me. And god, did Rachel fawn over him.”

“How dare she?” Elliott pretends to mock.

Kurt ignores him, taking a long sip of his drink. The little buzz was definitely back, keeping him in a happy place.  

“Well, I was wandering around on my own,” Kurt continues.  “And that’s when I saw him.” He has Elliott hooked now, and leans forward to whisper into Elliott’s ear.  “ _Nightbird._ ”  Kurt closes his eyes, picturing that meeting clearly despite the amount of alcohol making the rest of reality feel fuzzy.  Nightbird - dressed in black and dark blue and that form fitting costume that hugged him so, so well. The glitter of the cape in the sunlight.  And that mask that somehow seemed to accentuate those dark eyes. The most beautiful creature he had ever seen and standing there waiting, as if he had always been waiting for Kurt to cross his path.  

“Nightbird?” Elliott’s confusion brings him back to reality.

“Yes, Nightbird,” Kurt snaps.

“What comic is Nightbird from?”

“I don’t know, I didn’t ask.”

“I don’t think it’s Marvel or DC.”

“I am trying to describe the man of my dreams here, Elliott, who cares about the stupid comics!”  

“Okay, fine, so Nightbird…”

“Nightbird,” Kurt repeats quietly to himself.  Where was he? Oh, right. “He was with people, his friends, and I was sort of lost.  Literally lost not figuratively. I mean, maybe figuratively a little. Aren’t we all a little figuratively lost?  But I mean literally. Only kind of, not really. I would have found my way back eventually, but he was looking at me so earnestly.  And I just wanted a reason to talk to him. Is that weird?”

“Not weird at all.”  

“So, I told him I was lost,” Kurt says, grinning at his own cleverness.  “And I needed help to get back to Rachel. So he smiles at me. His smile could light up a room,” Kurt grabs at Elliott’s arm.  “I’m serious, Elliott, a whole room. And his smile was so welcoming. He was so happy to help. How many people are happy to help complete strangers? I’m not.  I want people to go away. People are annoying. But not Nightbird. He smiled and helped me and took my hand. My hand, Elliott! And led me right back.”

“A gentleman, for sure.” Elliott agrees, giving Kurt an ‘okay’ with his hand.

“For sure,” Kurt beams.  “And then he told me how fantastic my costume was.  Best Thor there - I told you I was brilliant. He also told me he once had a crush on Thor.”  

“Did he now?”

Kurt nods frantically.  “He did! Well, Rachel was still drooling over Fabio Thor, so we decided to walk around and chat for a while.  And it was -- it was amazing, Elliott. You know, he’s from Ohio, too? And we talked a little about comics, and a lot about musicals, and he sings - just like me!  He would have sang for me right then if I had asked. He told me that once. He’ll always sing for me if I ask. I have heard him sing, you know - his voice is like melted caramel and blow jobs and honey and I could come just from hearing his voice.  Oh, don’t look at me so scandalized. Do you know how many times I’ve masturbated to Michael Crawford?”

“Well, that’s something I can’t unhear,” Elliott says, his jaw on the floor. He takes another drink of his beer and shudders. “So did you guys hook up that night, or what?”

“No!” Kurt groans.  “Because stupid Rachel and stupid Fabio Thor ruining my evening.  I swear, blonds are the worst.”

“They aren’t, but continue.”

“Rachel breaks down crying cause Fabio Thor left her for some lady in a very tacky Wonder Woman costume, and as usual I had to clean up that mess.  And then Nightbird flew away - back to his friends. I didn’t think I’d ever see him again. We didn’t even exchange real names. Best evening of my life and Rachel’s love life ruins it again.”

“Well, clearly the the story doesn’t stop there.”  

“No, no it doesn’t,” Kurt gives him a wicked grin.  “But I think maybe I should get another drink…”

Elliott stays Kurt’s hand from waving down the bartender.  “How many have you had?”

“I don’t know, many.”  

“Hmm, how about you tell me more of your story, and then have a drink,” Elliott suggests.    
  
“You’re no fun.” Kurt slurps the rest of contents of the glass.  “Where was I?”

“Rachel ruined Comic-Con.”  

“Right,” Kurt says, his words are slightly slurred now, but he’s getting back into the story.  “You know what happened? Rachel decided to start dating Fabio Thor. This boring-ass guy was around for weeks.   _Weeks!_ ”

“Was this the guy with the super long hair?  I think I remember him.”

“The super long, stupid blond hair that clogged up my shower drain.  Yes, I’m sure I may have mentioned him once or two times.”

“Wasn’t his name Greg?”

“His name was Fabio Thor, anyway,” Kurt says, with a wave of his hand. “So he and Rachel had some big falling out over something dramatic because, well, Rachel’s dramatic and she cried about it for, like, forever and it was generally unpleasant.  And of course every time she has an epic break up with someone who isn’t Jesse, because it’s beyond epic when it is Jesse, it flames into every aspect of her life like an out-of-control grease fire. And everyone around her is cursed with going through the break up along with her.  Do you know how many break ups I’ve gone through?! And - god, can we just marry her off like the old days so we don’t have to deal with it anymore? I’m pretty sure we can get a couple of goats and chicken for her.”

“Um, Kurt,” Elliott says, a little hesitant.  “Does this have anything to do with your story?”

Kurt stares blankly at him a moment.  “No. Yes! Maybe? I don’t know, why don’t we listen to the story and find out. So, uh, what was--oh Rachel being dumped.  Rachel being dumped by Fabio Thor meant she did a few things publicly that she wasn’t supposed to.”

“Didn’t she have a complete meltdown at a restaurant?” Elliott lets out a fond laugh.  He always did find Rachel’s antics more humorous than maddening.

“Multiple,” Kurt scrunches his nose at the reminder.  “So, she needed to rehabilitate her image. I mean, even Santana couldn’t fix that mess, so she volunteered at an animal shelter - for good press, she said.  And that is how I ended up volunteering at an animal shelter. Because, let’s face it, not only am I damn good friend, I haven’t performed in months and if I’m going to be depressed about my career not going anywhere, I can do that while looking at cute furry animals.”  

“Your career isn’t _not_ going anywhere,” Elliott says rolling his eyes. “Let’s not get into that tonight.  Tell me about the furry animals.”

“They’re so cute!” Kurt says, delighted, throwing his hands up in the air.  “How can your day be bad when you’re holding a sweet little puppy in your arms? It’s beautiful big eyes staring at you like it adores you just for being there.  I think I fell in love at this animal shelter.” Kurt thinks of the puppies, and then his mind gets back to Blaine. And oh yeah, Blaine. Blaine is why they’re talking about puppies.  He misses Blaine again. Why is he not here yet?

Kurt becomes quiet for a moment, and Elliott rubs Kurt’s knee, nodding with empathy.

“So, I’m working there a few uneventful weeks,” Kurt continues.  “The puppies and kittens are cute, but no good stories. None really, other than Rachel getting pooped on.  But, no, let’s not talk about that. Let’s talk about Blaine. Blaaaaaaine. My lovely, lovely Blaine. He just walked in one day.  Just walked right into the shelter without me doing a thing. It was like the universe said - Kurt -- Kurt here you go, you deserve this after everything you’ve been through in your life.  Here is your very own Blaine. And you know what I said back to the universe?”

“Thank you?”

Kurt slams his hand on the counter.  “Fuck, yeah! For once my life the universe gives back.  And I recognize him at once. Nightbird,” Kurt whispers the name with a shifty grin.  “He doesn’t recognize me though. Nope. Not until I shake his hand and then he gets it.  He knows. He _knows_! And says ‘Thor?’ and I say ‘yes?’ and he says ‘you have to help, my cat is in labor.’”

“What?”

“Oh, right,” Kurt begins giggling again.  “Boring story short he has this brother who has a cat who was in labor and that’s why he was there and the cats had kittens and I got to name all the kittens and I named them after superheroes and there was this little cute grey cat that was feisty so I named him Thor.  It might have been a girl cat. I have no idea the sex of the cat. Not relevant. However, I convinced him to adopt Thor for himself. Because the universe was on my side and handed me a deck of cards and said ‘here Kurt, stack that deck’. And so I did.”

“Kurt, you’re not making much sense.”  

“Yes, I am! In my head I am. I am ordering my drink now,” Kurt says.  He wants another of those fruity extravaganzas, but Elliott tells him to stick with something with a little less alcohol in it so he settles a glass of something reddish that Kurt thinks is wine or might be grape juice, he can’t tell, but it’s fine.  “So yes, where were we? Right when I met Blaine. Real Blaine. Real Blaine who kept coming back with his cute Kitty Thor to the clinic, and always made an excuse to come visit me at the shelter. And I have to tell you Elliott. I have to tell you that Blaine is so much prettier out of that Nightbird costume.  So pretty.”

Kurt’s flashes to a memory of bare skin against his, of entwining fingers, of long eyelashes, and of tender lips and...  Oh, last night. Can they do last night again? Last night had been so perfect. Yes, but he needs Blaine for that. He checks his phone, fingers a little fumbly.  Elliott has to help him put it on the counter, but Elliott is less invasive than before. No messages yet.

“So, Blaine came in all the time then?” Elliott helps him out.  

“All the time,” Kurt nods.  “All the time and he says it’s ‘cause Kitty Thor needed to be checked upon a. Upon. Up on. Checked up on.  Do the words sound funny to you?”

“Oh Kurt, you’re so gone,” Elliott’s enjoying it, when not secretly making sure his friend was okay.  

“Anyway, he keeps coming in but it was me who asked him out,” Kurt smiles proudly.  “I asked him out because he is pretty and kind and has Kitty Thor and I think it was serenditus, serendip, srerenptus.”

“Serendipitous.”  

“Yes, that is what I said.”

“So, let me get this straight,” Elliott says, thinking hard about it.  “Six months ago was Comic-Con? And then maybe four months ago you started volunteering at the shelter? And you asked him out how long ago?  It couldn’t have been more than six weeks ago.”

Kurt shrugs.  “I’m bad at math.  And my friend Brittany once stopped time with her dancing.  I wouldn’t think too hard about it. Most of this happened while you were in Iceland doing yoga.”

“You mean when I was in Ithaca?”

“Wherever you were when you were not here,” Kurt points down to their spot. “It was far away.  It felt like Iceland.”

Elliott gives a chuckle.  “Anyway, you asked him out?”  

“I did!” Kurt grins broadly.  “I asked a boy out, and it was super scary but I really like this one so I did.  He was so nice. Such a gentleman. Held the door for me and everything. It was magical.”  Kurt closes his eyes and sways again in his spot, daydreaming about that evening. There have been few evenings in his life that Kurt could describe as perfect, but that was one of them.  “We walked around Central Park and went to a musical and had ice cream and talked and talked and I could listen to his voice all day and all night, did I mention he has the most beautiful voice?”

“You did,” Elliot says, amused when Kurt tries to remember when he had mentioned it before.

“Well, he does,” Kurt says with an intent nod.  “And he held my hand again. Always classy my Blaine.  Always. And then you know what happened next?” Kurt lets out a sigh.  “He walks me home, and then... he kisses me.” Kurt lets out a giggle, his tongue between his teeth.  “He’s so, so romantic. He takes my breath away, Elliot. My breath away…”

Elliott softens, and smiles happily at him.  

Kurt then nurses his drink a moment, a devilish grin growing along his lips.  “He is such a gentleman, but I am not. I grab him and kiss him back so fucking hard.  I may not be good at a lot of things, but I am a fucking good kisser. I even got to put my tongue in his mouth.  He tastes so amazing. So amazing…”

“Well, that’s great, Kurt!” Elliott gives him a gentle pat on the back.  “Then you live happily ever after. Fairy tale ending for you. Like you always wanted.”  

Kurt holds up his finger and wiggles it, as he shakes his head.  “Nope! Nope, nope, nope. You know what else I’m fucking good at? You know what else? You know Elliott, I know you know.  Fucking things up. That’s what I do best.” Kurt’s mood sours almost immediately. This is the bad part of the story. Why are there always bad parts of the story?

Elliott groans.  “Oh, Kurt, what happened?”  

“I told him we should be friends.”

“Wait, what?” Elliott’s genuinely confused.  

Kurt plays with the straw in his now empty glass.  “I liked him a lot. A lot a lot. I fell for him, Elliott.  I know I shouldn’t say it was love. But I loved him. I looove him.  Stupid heart. I wanted to hold on to that. Forever. So I broke it off, you know? And there was this voice in my head.  What if he wasn’t the one? What if it hurts again? What if he finds his person - his real person? What if it’s my destiny to be alone, and it’s the universe’s joke to leave me alone with this ridiculous thing written on my back?  Or, worse, what if my actual soulmate is some Siberian woman and I actually meet her and we have to live in a frozen tundra all the rest of my life? You know how much I hate being cold.”

“I do.”

“Well,” Kurt says quietly.  The sadness of just being friends with Blaine settles heavy in him, and Kurt just sits there, half staring out to space, not sure what to say.   “I’d at least get to have an amazing scarf collection if I end up with a Siberian wife.”

“Oh Kurt,” Elliot sighs heavily.  “Sometimes I think you are your own worst enemy.  And you know, this is why I’m not a fan of soulmate culture.  I’m an ‘in the moment’ guy. I’m not here to let fate dictate my life choices.  And you shouldn’t either.”

“I know.”  

“Kurt?” Elliot is kind, and rubs his back a little.  “Kurt, are you okay?”

“I think I need to pee,” Kurt says.  “But I don’t know if I can walk.”

Elliott helps him to the bathroom and back, all the while making sure Kurt’s still doing okay.  Kurt feels on the edge of tears, but he knows that it’ll pass. It’s the alcohol. Because there was last night.  Last night with all it’s magic and love and sweet, sweet kisses of forever. But does he really know? Everything feels too fuzzy.  

After the bathroom, Elliott takes him back to a booth, where he sits beside Kurt, and orders another drink - his last one, Elliott claims.  It’s clear and has no taste but it goes down easily.

“Did you get me watered down Vodka, Elliott?  It’s bad Vodka,” Kurt insists. “I can’t taste the Vodka at all. I hope you sweet talked someone into getting this for free because this is worth no money.”

“It was on the house,” Elliott says.  “Because you’re such a good customer.”  

Kurt scrunches his nose.  He knows Elliott’s not telling the truth, but his brain isn’t connecting things that well right now.  

They sit there for a few moments, Kurt silently sipping on the drink.  He does feel ever-so-slightly better.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Elliott asks, careful of Kurt’s emotional state.  

Kurt pulls out his phone to check.  No new messages. Blaine’s okay, right? They’re okay, right? After last night, after perfect last night…

“We tried to be friends,” Kurt says at last.  “I mean, it’s hard to be friends with someone when you’ve had your tongue in their mouth.”

Elliott tilts his head to consider.  “Sure.”

“We talked a lot,” Kurt says.  “A lot, a lot. I like talking to Blaine.  He makes me feel safe, does that make sense? Safe and connected and loved.  No one has ever made me feel like that. I mean like _that_ that.  I mean Elliott I love you and you are my friend and I feel safe with you, but not like… Not like home? Not like I want him to be there at the end of every night and tell every story to and all the things, you know?”

“I know Kurt,” Elliott assures him.  “I love ya, too, man, but I get it.”

Kurt let’s out another heavy sigh, and rests his head against Elliott’s shoulder.   “Some guy asked Blaine out. Some stupid blond guy he met while buying bowties. Blonds are stupid.”

“Kurt, c’mon.”

“I think a lot of people ask Blaine out, he just doesn’t know it,” Kurt says quietly.  “Doesn’t know how charming he is. I mean he knows. But doesn’t really know. He’s my Prince Charming.  My Nightbird… but he is easily loved. I am not easy to love, I know that. I know I am difficult. Oh, don’t give me that pity look.  I know better, I do. It’s okay. I am okay with myself, really. I am not okay with blonds at bowtie stores, though.”

“You know, you better be careful, or your soulmate is really going to be a blonde Siberian woman, you know that?” Elliott jokes.

Kurt musters a laugh.  “Well, they went on that date, and you know what Blaine told me? He told me it was a nice evening, but wishes it had been with me.  Blaine still wanted me. _Me_ , Elliott.  Because I am amazing.”

“You are amazing!”

Kurt beams.  “I am. And you know what, no more blond bowtie guy.  Nope, no more blonds at all. That was last week. All that happened last week.  This week was different.”

Elliott rests his elbow on the table, and his head on his hand.  “How so?”

“I decided to go visit him, Blaine I mean, not blond bowtie guy,” Kurt says.  “I don’t know that guy’s name anyway. Just Blaine’s. Blaaaaine. I said I needed to check up on Kitty Thor for professional reasons.  But can I tell you a secret? There were no professional reasons. I just wanted to see Blaine.”

Elliott gives him an odd look.  “Wait, did he fall for that?”

Kurt just waves a hand at him.  “So I check up on Kitty Thor, who is bigger than kitty size now.  And Blaine says I should come out hear him sing. At this piano place. This piano place where he can sing and I can see him. You know I hadn’t heard him sing before.  Not really. I’ve watched Youtube videos. You know he has a Youtube channel? And it’s amazing. I have it bookmarked. Sometimes I listen to it to go to sleep. He doesn’t know that, shhh,” Kurt puts a finger to his lips.  “But I hadn’t heard him sing in person. Not personally. But I am exclusively invited to hear him sing. And last night I did. And you know what?”

“I’m guessing something about glitter and rainbows?”

“Well fine, if you wanna just make fun of me…”

“No, no, go on.”

“He sings like glitter and rainbows,” Kurt says with a bit of defiance in his voice.  “And all the magical things of my dreams, and when he sang all the songs, they were to me.  I felt it, Elliott, I did right to my bones. And that is when I knew. We were not going to be friends anymore.  Nope. Nope, nope. That would just not happen because I really wanted to stick my tongue in his mouth again, and do, um, do other, _other_ things.  So I did it.”  

“Did what? God, did you stick your tongue down his throat in public?  Kurt, you minx.”

Kurt smirks.  “When he was done singing, I walked right up to him and said - I said ‘Blaine, I love you, I love you so much.  Fuck soulmates. You are my person and no stupid mark is going to change that for me. And then yes, I kissed him.  I kissed him so passionately that it bumped that kiss from The Princess Bride to second place. And then. And then…”

Blaine gave him everything.  But Kurt doesn’t say this out loud to Elliott.  Elliott can probably guess, from the dreamy look on his face.  There are a lot of things Kurt’s willing to say out loud, even if it does cross boundaries.  But last night had been for him. Him and Blaine.

They had gone to Blaine’s home, to Blaine’s bed, and Kurt felt cherished and loved as Blaine worked his hands, his mouth, all over.  And Kurt gave back. Wanted to show Blaine just how much it was true - how much he loves Blaine. And for a moment, he’s back there, back in that moment, safe with Blaine, safe in Blaine, rocking with him, feeling him everywhere.  Trading sweet kisses and gentle caresses and holding on so tight. His heart was full then, it is full now. Whatever happens, they have those moments to have forever with them. It meant everything.

Kurt comes back to the bar, back to the reality of here and now, and Elliott squeezes his shoulders.  He doesn’t need to say anything, Elliott knows the rest of the story without him having to say it.

Where is Blaine?  It’s getting later, and Kurt really, really, really would like to see Blaine again.  His heart’s beginning to ache. Last night wasn’t a one night thing. Last night was… forever.   Maybe he should text Blaine? Maybe he should call? Maybe he’ll have to go out and track Blaine down and explain at length that if you’re going to be late meeting someone you should at least give a reason for why you are late because this whole worry thing is not fun and…  

As if on cue, Blaine enters the bar.  Oh thank god, finally. Blaine looks around a moment, searching, until he sees Kurt across the room and their eyes meet.  Blaine immediately lights up, and all Kurt’s fears and worries wash away, leaving him happily buzzed. There he is - Kurt’s beautiful, lovely Blaine.  

“I’m so, so, so sorry I’m late,” Blaine says.

Kurt pushes off Elliott to stand, though he can’t quite get his balance, and ends up falling into Blaine.  Blaine catches Kurt easily, and holds him in his arms. Kurt purrs. There’s nowhere else he’d rather be anyway.  

“I missed you,” Kurt says, the words still a bit slurred together, but Blaine’s here, it’s okay now.  He throws his arms around Blaine’s neck and pulls him close.

“I missed you, too,” Blaine says.  “I’m sorry, I got home from work and the house was a disaster.  Kitty Thor decided to run rampage or something. Maybe there was a Loki-mouse.  Everything was destroyed, so I wanted to get that cleaned up.”

“Bad Kitty,” Kurt clicks his tongue.

Blaine nods.  “Thor will not be sleeping in my sweatshirt anymore since he peed in it.”

Elliott lets out a gasp.  He’s there before Kurt is.

But it’s only a moment before Kurt’s brain catches up.  Did Blaine just say that? Did he really hear that right?  It couldn’t be… There are a lot of things Kurt could say, a lot of things he wants to say, a lot-lot-lot of things running through his head, but all that stumbles out as he pokes Blaine in the chest is - “ _You_ are the reason I can’t wear tank tops.”

“Oh my god,” Blaine’s eyes grow wide in shock.  His jaw drops for a moment before curling into a huge smile.  “Kurt, you said it.” Blaine says, gently cupping Kurt’s face. “I can’t believe… Do you know what this means?”

“It means I can be publicly half naked again!”

“He’s a bit trashed,” Elliott says, scootting out of the booth, grinning from ear to ear.  “You may want to take him home and let him sleep it off before explaining it to him. He’s gonna be pissed he doesn’t remember it tomorrow, but it’ll make for a nice story for your grandchildren.   I’m Elliott, by the way, an old friend of Kurt’s.”

“Blaine Anderson,” Blaine says, juggling shaking Elliott’s hand while still holding Kurt.

“Elliott, look, I told you I found my person,” Kurt says, intensely pointing at Blaine.  

Blaine draws him in.  “Yeah, I’m your person.”  

Kurt surges in for a kiss, a little sloppy, a little off center, but Kurt doesn’t care.  He’s never felt so happy in his life.

“You know, I should probably go settle the tab,” Elliot says, though neither of them hear him.  Elliott quietly steps away, as Kurt and Blaine only have eyes for each other.

“Hey, Blaine?” Kurt says, resting his forehead against Blaine’s.  

“Yes, Kurt?”

“I just want you to know that I really, really love you.”

“I really, really love you, too.”

“Do you still have the Nightbird costume?  I wanna sex you as Nightbird.”

“Well, only if you dress up as Thor again.”

“Most definitely not.  Blonds are the worst.”

Blaine laughs as he kisses Kurt’s forehead, then reaches for Kurt’s hand to lead him out of the bar.  Kurt snuggles up to him, holding on tight. He found his soulmate, and all is right in the world.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] How I Met My Soulmate - A Drunken Kurt Story](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15890757) by [chasingkerouac](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chasingkerouac/pseuds/chasingkerouac)




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